ifyoulikemusic

To Boddah

Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpletion who obviously would rather be a emasculated, infantile complain-ee. This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven’t felt the excitement of listening to as well as creating music along with rolling and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things, for example when we’re backstage and the lights go out and the manil roar of the crowd begins it doesn’t affect me the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love. To relish on the love and adoration from the crowd which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is; I can’t fool you, anyone of you, if simply isn’t fair to you cyme. The worst crime I can think of would be to Rip people off by faking it, and pretending as if i’m having 100 % fun: sometimes I feel as if I should han a punsch in timeclock before I walk in on stage. I’ve tried everything within my power to to apprecite it (snd I do, God believe me I do) but it’s not enough. I appreciate the fact thst I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of those narcissists who pnly appreciate thing when they’re gone. Im too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last 3 tours I’ve had a much better appreciation for all the people I’ve known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can’t set over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There’s good in all of us an I think I simply love people too much. So much that it manage me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreicative, pisces, Jesus man! Why don’t you just enjoy it? I don’t know! I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy.. and a doughter who reminds me too much of who I used to be. Full of love and joy, kissing every person she meets becouse everyone is good and will do her no harm. An that territies me to the point to where I can hardly function. I can’t stand the tought of Frances becoming the misserable selfdsetructive; death… that i’ve become. I have it good, very good and im gratefull but since the age of seven i’ve become hateful towards all humans in general. Only becouse it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy, empathy! Only becouse I love and feel sorry for people to much i guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. Im too much of an erratic, moody, baby! I don’t have the passion anymore and so remember it’s better to burn out than to fade away.

Peace love, empathy // Kurt Cobain

Frances and Courtney, I’ll beat your altar.

Please keep going Courtney, for Frances, for her life wich will be so much happier without me.

I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU!